Judith Warner in her NY Times blog, suggests that Sarah Palin suffers from The Impostor Syndrome. As the author of the new book, "The Impostor Syndrome," I found this interesting.
The Impostor Syndrome is the feeling that you are not as smart, talented, or skilled as people think you are. It's the feeling that you are a fake and have been getting away with something and are about to be found out. It affects 70% of adults and is especially prevalent in high achieving women like Sarah Palin.
For instance, Jodie Foster said in a TV interview in 1995 that before her Oscar-winning performance in “The Accused” she felt “like an impostor, faking it, that someday they’d find out I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t. I still don’t.”
Here some indicators of the The Impostor Syndrome:
1. Fear that you have been getting away with success and you will lose it anytime
2. Resistance to taking credit for you accomplishments
3. Fear that people might find out you are faking
4. Difficulty saying "Thank you" when praised
There are many more indicators and causes, as I outline in my book and seminars. In all of my years of teaching seminars, this subject is the most fascinating. Audiences really connect with this.
I would be happy to teach a seminar or lead a workshop for your organization.
I am available day and night at 727-644-3384 or johngraden@mac.com.
You can learn more about me at www.JohnGraden.com and see me speak on The Impostor Syndrome at www.JohnGradenTV.com.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
How Paul Newman Changed My Life
I saw Terry Bradshaw speak in Tampa about a decade ago. One of the points he made was that regardless of how much of a big shot you think you are, when you die, only your close friends and family are going to be upset. He said when he hears of a big celebrity passing on, he thinks, "Oh. He died. Hmm. What's for dinner?" I took his point to be that rare is the life that makes such a difference that people will be effected by your passing.
I've agreed with that notion until Paul Newman died a few days ago. I was truly stunned and saddened at his passing.
As great and powerful as his film roles have been, he completely changed my life over 20 years ago with an insight he shared during a TV interview I was saw.
In the interview, he said that he always had the fear that one day someone would push through the crowd, grab him by the arm, and say, "It's over. It was all a mistake. You are coming back to paint houses . . ."
I understood exactly what he meant. He was describing the underlying fear that your good fortune is going to end and that someone is going to discover that you are a fraud. Psychologists call this "The Impostor Syndrome."
It was at that key moment watching this seemingly confident superstar that I understood that I was not the only person with this unique feeling of self doubt. A feeling that your success is by luck and that you are somehow getting away with it.
I am not a psychologist nor do I play one in my book, "The Impostor Syndrome." This book is about my obstacles, experiences, and the strategies I've used and developed to overcome the self doubt I lived with for many years. I thought that once I built a successful business and was receiving international acclaim for my work the self-doubt would evaporate. Instead, my self-doubt returned with a new name, The Impostor Syndrome.
The Impostor Syndrome is the feeling of being a fraud. Regardless of what is going on around you, there is a nagging feeling people will find out that you are not as smart, skilled, or talented as they think you are. It's as though you aren't the person you appear to be to the rest of the world.
This undercurrent of self-doubt makes it hard to strive for excellence because the more you draw attention to yourself; the more vulnerable you are to being unmasked.
Studies in the mid-1980s show that as much as 70% of successful people suffered from the Impostor Syndrome in varying degrees. It's difficult to know exactly how many people have achieved less or never even tried to succeed due to the Impostor Syndrome.
Paul Newman and I had that same feeling but in real life instead of a "reality show." Regardless of our individual levels of success, lingering self-doubt cast a gray cloud on our clear blue futures.
Some of the symptoms of the Impostor Syndrome include:
1. A guilty feeling you are getting away with something.
2. A feeling you're going to be exposed as an intellectual fraud or fake at some point.
3. Inability to take credit for your success or even say, "Thank You" to praise.
4. The feeling that people think you are more capable than you think you are.
While Paul Newman touched millions with his movie roles, directing, philanthropy, and living life on his terms, his influence in that simple interview changed the course of my life and helped me, in turn, to impact the lives of tens of thousands of others.
Thank you Sir. Rest in peace.
About John Graden
An award winning speaker and writer, John speaks to corporate and public audiences on the subjects of Personal and Professional Development and inspires audiences to transform the quality of their lives. He can be reached at www.JohnGraden.com and www.JohnGradenTV.com
I've agreed with that notion until Paul Newman died a few days ago. I was truly stunned and saddened at his passing.
As great and powerful as his film roles have been, he completely changed my life over 20 years ago with an insight he shared during a TV interview I was saw.
In the interview, he said that he always had the fear that one day someone would push through the crowd, grab him by the arm, and say, "It's over. It was all a mistake. You are coming back to paint houses . . ."
I understood exactly what he meant. He was describing the underlying fear that your good fortune is going to end and that someone is going to discover that you are a fraud. Psychologists call this "The Impostor Syndrome."
It was at that key moment watching this seemingly confident superstar that I understood that I was not the only person with this unique feeling of self doubt. A feeling that your success is by luck and that you are somehow getting away with it.
I am not a psychologist nor do I play one in my book, "The Impostor Syndrome." This book is about my obstacles, experiences, and the strategies I've used and developed to overcome the self doubt I lived with for many years. I thought that once I built a successful business and was receiving international acclaim for my work the self-doubt would evaporate. Instead, my self-doubt returned with a new name, The Impostor Syndrome.
The Impostor Syndrome is the feeling of being a fraud. Regardless of what is going on around you, there is a nagging feeling people will find out that you are not as smart, skilled, or talented as they think you are. It's as though you aren't the person you appear to be to the rest of the world.
This undercurrent of self-doubt makes it hard to strive for excellence because the more you draw attention to yourself; the more vulnerable you are to being unmasked.
Studies in the mid-1980s show that as much as 70% of successful people suffered from the Impostor Syndrome in varying degrees. It's difficult to know exactly how many people have achieved less or never even tried to succeed due to the Impostor Syndrome.
Paul Newman and I had that same feeling but in real life instead of a "reality show." Regardless of our individual levels of success, lingering self-doubt cast a gray cloud on our clear blue futures.
Some of the symptoms of the Impostor Syndrome include:
1. A guilty feeling you are getting away with something.
2. A feeling you're going to be exposed as an intellectual fraud or fake at some point.
3. Inability to take credit for your success or even say, "Thank You" to praise.
4. The feeling that people think you are more capable than you think you are.
While Paul Newman touched millions with his movie roles, directing, philanthropy, and living life on his terms, his influence in that simple interview changed the course of my life and helped me, in turn, to impact the lives of tens of thousands of others.
Thank you Sir. Rest in peace.
About John Graden
An award winning speaker and writer, John speaks to corporate and public audiences on the subjects of Personal and Professional Development and inspires audiences to transform the quality of their lives. He can be reached at www.JohnGraden.com and www.JohnGradenTV.com
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Media Kit for The Impostor Syndrome
Here is a pdf Media Kit for my new book, The Impostor Syndrome: How to Replace Self-Doubt with Self-Confidence and Train Your Brain for Success.This is designed for producers and editors to see how the book's subject is perfect for an interview, profile, or article. In the media kit, I list 21 talking Points and 21 questions for the interviewer to ask and discuss.
Essentially, my goal is to make this as easy as possible for the media to book me with an "interview by the numbers" process already laid out for them. Download it here
Paul Newman and I
This is chapter one of The Impostor Syndrome
Paul Newman and I
By John Graden
I once saw Paul Newman on TV say that he always had the fear that one day someone would push through the crowd, grab him by the arm, and say, "It's over. It was all a mistake. You are coming back to paint houses . . ."
I understood exactly what he meant. He was describing the underlying fear that your good fortune is going to end and/or that someone is going to discover that you are a fraud. Psychologists call this "The Impostor Syndrome."
I am not a psychologist nor do I play one in this book. This book is about my obstacles, experiences, and the strategies I've used and developed to overcome the self-doubt I lived with for many years. I thought that once I built a successful business and was receiving international acclaim for my work the self-doubt would evaporate. Instead, my self-doubt returned with a new name, The Impostor Syndrome.
The Impostor Syndrome is the feeling of being a fraud. Regardless of what is going on around you, there is a nagging feeling people will find out that you are not as smart, skilled, or talented as they think you are. It's as though you aren't the person you appear to be to the rest of the world.
This undercurrent of self-doubt makes it hard to strive for excellence because the more you draw attention to yourself; the more vulnerable you are to being unmasked.
Studies in the mid-1980s show that as much as 70% of successful people suffered from the Impostor Syndrome in varying degrees. It's difficult to know exactly how many people have achieved less or never even tried to succeed due to the Impostor Syndrome.
Paul Newman and I had that same feeling but in real life instead of a "reality show." Regardless of our individual levels of success, lingering self-doubt cast a gray cloud on our clear blue futures.
Some of the symptoms of the Impostor Syndrome include:
1. A guilty feeling you are getting away with something.
2. A feeling you're going to be exposed as an intellectual fraud or fake at some point.
3. Difficulty to take credit for your success or even say, "Thank You" to praise.
4. The feeling that people think you are more capable than you think you are.
About John Graden
John Graden is the CEO of Big Dream Media, LLC, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations. As an award winning speaker and writer, He speaks to corporate and public audiences on the subjects of Personal and Professional Development and inspires audiences to transform the quality of their lives. He can be reached at www.johngraden.com
Paul Newman and I
By John Graden
I once saw Paul Newman on TV say that he always had the fear that one day someone would push through the crowd, grab him by the arm, and say, "It's over. It was all a mistake. You are coming back to paint houses . . ."
I understood exactly what he meant. He was describing the underlying fear that your good fortune is going to end and/or that someone is going to discover that you are a fraud. Psychologists call this "The Impostor Syndrome."
I am not a psychologist nor do I play one in this book. This book is about my obstacles, experiences, and the strategies I've used and developed to overcome the self-doubt I lived with for many years. I thought that once I built a successful business and was receiving international acclaim for my work the self-doubt would evaporate. Instead, my self-doubt returned with a new name, The Impostor Syndrome.
The Impostor Syndrome is the feeling of being a fraud. Regardless of what is going on around you, there is a nagging feeling people will find out that you are not as smart, skilled, or talented as they think you are. It's as though you aren't the person you appear to be to the rest of the world.
This undercurrent of self-doubt makes it hard to strive for excellence because the more you draw attention to yourself; the more vulnerable you are to being unmasked.
Studies in the mid-1980s show that as much as 70% of successful people suffered from the Impostor Syndrome in varying degrees. It's difficult to know exactly how many people have achieved less or never even tried to succeed due to the Impostor Syndrome.
Paul Newman and I had that same feeling but in real life instead of a "reality show." Regardless of our individual levels of success, lingering self-doubt cast a gray cloud on our clear blue futures.
Some of the symptoms of the Impostor Syndrome include:
1. A guilty feeling you are getting away with something.
2. A feeling you're going to be exposed as an intellectual fraud or fake at some point.
3. Difficulty to take credit for your success or even say, "Thank You" to praise.
4. The feeling that people think you are more capable than you think you are.
About John Graden
John Graden is the CEO of Big Dream Media, LLC, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations. As an award winning speaker and writer, He speaks to corporate and public audiences on the subjects of Personal and Professional Development and inspires audiences to transform the quality of their lives. He can be reached at www.johngraden.com
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Company Policy vs. Client Experience
It's a common customer service error when a company focuses on their process rather than the customer experience.
The web company we've been using for three years, Studio X, was a great little boutique outfit that was responsive and helpful. Then they began to implement timeline processes and procedures that brought response time to a halt or crawl. When we would let them know our frustration with entire sections of our website missing for months at a time, they would point to the process and declare we had not followed procedure rather than work quickly to fix the situation. We are now looking for a new web company.
The worldwide leaders in customer service, including Nordstroms, Ritz Carlton, and other top notch organizations place the focus on the client, not the process. Their employees are given the right and power to use their best judgement in the situation in order to help the customer. The light is always shining on the customer, not the business or policy.
Imagine going into a bakery with no one else in it, yet the girl behind the counter insists you take a number because that is policy.
The worse examples have been the recent and sad scenarios where an injured or ill person has actually died on the floor of an emergency room while nurses and doctors stepped right over them. They were coldly focused on their procedures rather than the person's needs.
A simple rule is: "Do what is right for the client." Or, as Thomas J. Watson, founder of IBM main policy stated, "Think!" Policies are predictable comfort zones and, like most comfort zones, create a short term gain for the company that results in a long term pain with each disgruntled client. The short term pain of taking care of the clients needs leads to a long term gain for growth and goodwill.
The web company we've been using for three years, Studio X, was a great little boutique outfit that was responsive and helpful. Then they began to implement timeline processes and procedures that brought response time to a halt or crawl. When we would let them know our frustration with entire sections of our website missing for months at a time, they would point to the process and declare we had not followed procedure rather than work quickly to fix the situation. We are now looking for a new web company.
The worldwide leaders in customer service, including Nordstroms, Ritz Carlton, and other top notch organizations place the focus on the client, not the process. Their employees are given the right and power to use their best judgement in the situation in order to help the customer. The light is always shining on the customer, not the business or policy.
Imagine going into a bakery with no one else in it, yet the girl behind the counter insists you take a number because that is policy.
The worse examples have been the recent and sad scenarios where an injured or ill person has actually died on the floor of an emergency room while nurses and doctors stepped right over them. They were coldly focused on their procedures rather than the person's needs.
A simple rule is: "Do what is right for the client." Or, as Thomas J. Watson, founder of IBM main policy stated, "Think!" Policies are predictable comfort zones and, like most comfort zones, create a short term gain for the company that results in a long term pain with each disgruntled client. The short term pain of taking care of the clients needs leads to a long term gain for growth and goodwill.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Why I Enjoy Teaching for High School College Students
I have a great time teaching High School and College Psychology classes on The Impostor Syndrome and How to Create a Life Instead of Making a Living. Sometimes, I'll include a hypnosis demonstration to add some excitement to the class. I did one recently at Webster College where I discussed various aspects of hypnosis and then took the class through a three minute group hypnosis/NLP session. The response was great.
Later, I did the hand clasp induction, which elicited lots of excitement. Finally, I hypnotized a student who was in her late 40s. She seemed self-conscious in front of the class, but with a little deepening, she was easily in the level 3 or the "working level."
I suggested she might feel some light tugging on her arm but it will be completely comfortable for her. I then pinched her skin hard enough to leave an indentation. She didn't feel a thing. The class let out a collective gasp.
The class was highly receptive and welcoming which is why I enjoy presenting for high school and college audiences. Thanks to their teacher Doreen Lewis. Doreen is an romantic novel author and speaker whose website is http://www.doreenlewis.com.
Later, I did the hand clasp induction, which elicited lots of excitement. Finally, I hypnotized a student who was in her late 40s. She seemed self-conscious in front of the class, but with a little deepening, she was easily in the level 3 or the "working level."
I suggested she might feel some light tugging on her arm but it will be completely comfortable for her. I then pinched her skin hard enough to leave an indentation. She didn't feel a thing. The class let out a collective gasp.
The class was highly receptive and welcoming which is why I enjoy presenting for high school and college audiences. Thanks to their teacher Doreen Lewis. Doreen is an romantic novel author and speaker whose website is http://www.doreenlewis.com.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Criss Angel Implosion Stunt
One of the key skills in overcoming The Impostor Syndrome is to realize that everyone fakes it until they make it. Unless you are at least willing to fake it the first few times in order to gain competence, you will spin your wheels until you do.
Case in point. My fiance, Janet and I were "Segwaying" around the beach last night and saw the Criss Angel escape from the imploding building.
We're kinda of fans of his, but this was really bad. The implosion was exciting, but he made a huge error in pretending that he ran out of time and had to work his way out of the rubble. I think he would have done great had he got out of the building and jumped on the helicopter as planned.
See it here and:
The debunking by Fox News.
My point is this. Criss didn't get to his current level of success and acclaim by holding back. He is a "balls to the wall" guy and I admire that. This one didn't come off as well as he had hoped. Has that every happened to you? It's happened to me, far too often than I like to admit. What do you do in this type of situation? How do you talk to yourself after blowing a sales call, date, approach or whatever you try?
Case in point. My fiance, Janet and I were "Segwaying" around the beach last night and saw the Criss Angel escape from the imploding building.
We're kinda of fans of his, but this was really bad. The implosion was exciting, but he made a huge error in pretending that he ran out of time and had to work his way out of the rubble. I think he would have done great had he got out of the building and jumped on the helicopter as planned.
See it here and:
The debunking by Fox News.
My point is this. Criss didn't get to his current level of success and acclaim by holding back. He is a "balls to the wall" guy and I admire that. This one didn't come off as well as he had hoped. Has that every happened to you? It's happened to me, far too often than I like to admit. What do you do in this type of situation? How do you talk to yourself after blowing a sales call, date, approach or whatever you try?
The strategy that I teach is to remove the emotion from the event and carry only the lessons learned forward. Rather than say, "I blew that one. What an idiot!" learn to say, "That didn't go like I wanted. What can I do better next time?" That will propel your mind into the future rather than mire it in the past.
I'm confident that Criss will learn from this and use it to build upon his already impressive legacy as an illusionist.
JG
JG
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